It's 16 miles to the promised land

Hello, all! If anyone is still reading this. I'm feeling like posting, so here we go. Here's what I'm not talking about, in a brief rundown:
I'm not taking up after I left off, with leaving Dunedin. For anyone following along at home, I believe from there I did Wanaka, which was actually pretty cool. Wanaka is lovely. Then I went to Queenstown briefly, then did Milford Sound which is AMAZING but hard to describe. I'll show you all pictures. Then back in Queenstown for a day, then back to Christchurch to spend some time with Lisa (remember? Lisa was here?), then straight up to Taupo via Wellington, hung out with that lot for a bit, then a brief stop in Auckland and then I came home and visited you.
I'm not talking about when I came back and hung out with Ben for a while and probably annoyed the hell out of Lisa, or how I spent like a month and a half in Christchurch, or the amazing trip I took with Ben (that will have its day, though, because that trip rocked), or the little side trip to Kaikoura I took on my own and met awesome people, or how I gave up and went back to Taupo and had like the greatest 4 months of my life with completely incredible people who leave me trying to thesaurus-up some synonyms for "amazing." You know who you are.
I'm not talking about the hangover-cure trip to Napier, even though that was a blast. It was just a picnic on the ocean with an A+ car trip where both cars got pulled over, neither got ticketed (ours was a seatbelt check, we weren't speeding like some people), and our car nearly ran out of petrol.
I'm not talking about Clare and Katey's Excellent Bay of Islands Adventure with Special Guest, David Duchovny but, oh. That will have its post because that. was. awesome.
Then I had another few days of Awesome in Taupo, including not one but TWO great nights out and then I left and sobbed on the bus to Auckland and then I got to Aussie and sort of love/hated it because it wasn't New Zealand but THEN I got to what I AM going to talk about:
I went to Kangaroo Iiiiiiiiiiiiiislaaaaaaaaaaaaaand. And I just got back 2 hours ago!
OK, so. Kangaroo Island is this little island off of the Fleurieu Penninsula. Near Adelaide. We drove on over from Adelaide (Jess called me while I was at the beach and I got VERY PSYCHED) and got on the insanely expensive ferry in order to experience the Ferry Ride From Hell. I don't get seasick much and we all took ginger seasickness pills and we had those little bands that help with it, too, and yet. And. Yet. First I fell spectacularly (I can't even explain this fall, other than I wish someone had filmed it so that I could laugh even more. I was almost to my seat from getting the sickness bags and I bounced back into the wall, bounced again, somehow lost my shoe, and landed on the ground. Funniest. Fall. Ever), then I had to sit outside and will myself not to vomit whilst Jess was vomiting next to me and I can tell you're really into this story, so I'll skip it. Longest hour of my life.
Then we got in and camped at our first campsite! We didn't really do much else that night except cook on a lovely free barbeque and drink some wine. The next day it was kind of cloudy, so we did honey and wine day! We went to 2 honey farms and sampled a lot. Purchased some delicious honey. Then we went to the Emu Farm Eucalyptus distillery and maybe one of you is getting a little eucalyptus oil as part of a gift! Also, I did sample emu oil, which was awesome, but I'm pretty sure is made from emus, so I don't know how I feel. There was also a kangaroo there! A little one! A cute one who loved me, probably because I renamed her Mariah Carey. Which, judging from the way she went after the scarves on sale, was a pretty good name. Then we sampled a few wines from this lovely man at Bay of Shoals winery. Jess and I purchased a Rose and an award-winning 2006 Riesling. Elaina got a Shiraz. Then we camped at another site with a secret beach that was beaaaauuutiful. I went for a swim in the rock pool, although it was quite chilly. They laughed at me. That night we had grilled zucchini as part of our meal and it was so delicious I can't even tell you. Also enjoyed our new honey with soy sauce and ginger on instant noodles. Better than it sounds. Oh! That night the wildlife was a little intense. There were bandicoots (look it up) and bushtailed possums and feral cats and more kangaroos! Not snakes, thank god. I tried to befriend one kangaroo (Luther Vandross), but only wound up falling. Again. I've been told it was an awesome fall, and would be the greatest fall Elaina's ever seen, but she saw me fall on the ferry. Also, perhaps I should be using my internet time to purchase health insurance.
The next day, Elaina informed us that she'd heard scary noises at night in the tent, and something that sounded like a wild boar. Frightening. We cooked our breakfast over the gas stove, which took some time. Then we saw the Remarkable Rocks, which ARE truly remarkable. They are pretty effin cool. Then we went to Admirals Arch, which was also beautiful except there were a lot of seals there and seals are stinky. Really. Ugh, trying to remember what else we did on days is hard! However, I'm now listening to Miley's "Party in the USA" so it's all good. Repeat. Indefinitely. Anyone looking for a Christmas present for me, I'll be wanting whatever CD features this and also the Hannah Montana movie. Also should mention I have massive credit card debt and may not be buying presents. But the immediate fam will be receiving gifts, fear not. Speaking of which, I may have spotted a Paul Kelly poster in the stairwell of this hostel. Spoiler alert! I'm stealing it.
Anyway. We didn't hit other wineries that day, so what did we do....That was the day we slept really late and then spent ages trying to cook eggs on a teeny gas burner, so it took more time to leave. Remarkable Rocks and Seal day. Possible that was it. I'll get back to you. Oh! Jess met this lady in the bathroom of our campsite who told her she'd just gotten a fright from a goana (look it up) who also informed her that she'd seen some brown snakes (super-poisonous) around there. So there was some healthy terror that night. However, then that night she and her husband came over and talked to us in the barbeque area for hours! They weren't the couple who cooked alongside us and laughed when I acted out Elaina murdering Jess (side note: Elaina is a nurse, and though she has never performed one, is "about 99% positive" she could perform a successful emergency tracheotomy. With a pen. Like George Clooney in that episode of ER where the kid is stuck in the storm drain! Have you seen that one? It's a good one). I liked that guy, too. But this couple came over with wine and warned us of the snakes, so I liked them. We wound up not seeing any snakes that night, but I slept in the front seat of the car rather than the tent. Fear.
The next day was a big day. We went sandboarding!! Sandboarding is like sledding on sand rather than snow (can also be like snowboarding on sand, but we were not confident enough to stand). It was so much fun, I can't even tell you. I wasn't even scared! A little, but not much, even though I recently learned I am afraid of heights! It was so fun. I got sand EEEEEEEEVERYWHERE and sunburned my shoulders (stupid), but it was incredible. Then we returned the sand boards and what did we do. Oh! We went to kingscote. We stopped at Vivonne Bay which was where we slept, but hadn't seen much of it. It was absolutely gorgeous. I had some trouble with my camera, though, due to the immense amount of sand swallowed by it. When I get money, I'll have to buy a new camera and try to refrain from abusing it so. It worked a little. THEN we went to Seal Bay to see not seals, but Australian Sea Lions! They are endangered, so I capitalized it. Oh, before that we stopped at a gas station where my credit card was declined so I used Dad's. I'll pay you back, sorry. It was for petrol and a bag of Doritos I ate in 2 days, so it was kind of important. However, citicard didn't get declined at the sea lion place, so I don't know. Anyway, sea lions are MASSIVE. They get up to like 300 kilos, which is a lot. They look like bears when they come out of the water! The babies are teeny, though, so that's amazing. Sea Lions rock, and my camera worked enough for me to get a few pictures in. So yay!
That was Thursday, I think. That night we got a seafood dinner from this little stand actually inside a Caltex petrol station, which sounds reputable. But the cool girl from the ferry ride was there! So we got to see her. And we filled up on fried food. I believe I said, "Mmm, beans on toast for breakfast, Doritos for lunch, and seafood basket for dinner. It's a good life." Then we went down to the beach by Kingscote to look for penguins coming in to bed. It took ages and we didn't see any and it was cold. End of discussion. We didn't pay for a tour, we just tried to sneak, so.
Then we camped at American River and American River, in addition to being named after the greatest country in the world, had SHOWERS. I shouldn't tell you how long I'd been without a shower, but it was a while. The shower was timed for 3 minutes, and then the water wouldn't go for 5 minutes. Bitchy. So I did one 3-minute shower, popped into the other shower, did 3 minutes there, then came back. Outsmarted! Anyway, then we got up early for PELICAN FEEDING! It was really cool, and the lady who did it was very nice. We like her. She could tell the pelicans apart! Very talented. So we watched that, then we drove around until we found coffee. Elaina bought a teen magazine that told us all about the new Twilight movie (it's possible I might need to read Twilight, I think I would adore it) AND came with a hat and sunglasses! Score! Then we had a full day ahead of us! First we climbed Prospect Hill, which wasn't too steep but I should mention that that wasn't my first bag of Doritos on the trip, so it took some time. Then we went to a number of local art galleries and art shops before stopping at Sunset winery. There we enjoyed an amazing sparkling shiraz. Also enjoyed an antipasto platter and a sampling of 6 wines! FYI their sav blanc is delightful, but not as good as the sparkling shiraz and I don't even like red wine much. From Sunset we went to Penneshaw, found out about THEIR penguins and wandered around the town. I got a chakra bracelet at this new age store and I don't know what that means, but I love my bracelet. We also saw the entire town in about 20 minutes, so. Then we went to a lavendar farm! You didn't even know they had farms, did you? They do. It was us and this old folks home and I think the guy liked us since we were under 90, so he was especially nice. Also a plus: Crazy old ladies! Gotta love 'em. The guy let us sample some lavendar fudge, but they didn't have enough to sell to us, which is a travesty as lavendar fudge is, it turns out, delicious. He also gave us tips on things to see around there and had us try some lavendar candy, which I then purchased because it was good. Then we headed over to the Sheep Dairy! SHEEP FARM, SHEEP FARM! For what, you ask? SHEEP CHEESE, SHEEP CHEESE. First we had to wait for the sheep to cross the road, which was soooo coooool. They're funny. Then we didn't go on the tour, because we just wanted to sample the cheeses. Even though some KI sheep cheese was on our antipasto platter (they are huge there on the promoting of local businesses. We kept seeing the same things everywhere, it was great). Then I got some mango sheep yogurt. Not too shabby! But I love yogurt, so. Then we went to KI Spirits, which is this distillery that is seriously in this rundown building around a corner. Awesome. However, in this little rundown building I had the best gin I've ever had in my life, so that's something. They have gin and vodka and loads of little liquers and a vodka mixed with semaphire and I can't even explain how great this place was. I got a honey and walnut thing that I hope to bring home for Christmas or possibly break all over my luggage. Then we went into Kingscote so that Elaina could make a phone call and Jess and I got a beer at the Sip 'n' Save to honor its name and I was a little drunk. Then we went back to our first campsite (symmetry!) and set up, then we went to Penneshaw to see the penguins. Once more we waited for ages in the cold, but this time we saw a penguin!! Just one, but he came right up to us because I'm pretty sure we were too close to the water, but who cares! We saw an adorable little penguin! Too cute.
So then we went to bed and this morning was another glorious day on Kangaroo Island, but we had to leave. Sad. So we got some breakfast at a cute little cafe (because we used the last of our bread last night with some sheep cheese) and got on the ferry. This ride was lovely, it was hard to say goodbye. Sunny and mild and great. As we pulled away from Kangaroo Island, we even saw dolphins! That is because Kangaroo Island just keeps on giving. We saw a number of dolphins alongside the ferry, actually. Australia rocks.